tumb1r

Too many people use tumblr nowadays. Piss me off. I used it before it went gay. But anyway, i went to my old tumblr and looked through some of the stuff i posted. Just gunna leave a few images that i found awesome.

ANYWAY that's enough for now :) i'll randomly post an image from my tumblr every now and then.

A good deed

So i was walking to my friends house. Dying in the heat but loving the breeze every now and then. I walked into this small street and at the end i could see a man walking weirdly. He was stumbling, as if he were tipsy. I hesitated whether i should keep walking or turn around. I was half way in the street and he had stopped to rest. He had his hand in his pocket and a thought went through my mind. Does he have a knife? 


Different thoughts raced through my mind. Should i keep walking? Will he stab me? Is he a druggy? Rose don't be judgmental. BUT LOOK HOW HE'S WALKING. Stfu and keep walking. I'm gunna die. But i love life. DON'T STAB ME PLEASE. Oh wait do i know him? Nope, he's thirty. Oh god i'm gunna get raped aren't i? Rose, cup yo balls. He looks nice and kind. LOL JOKING YOU'RE GUNNA DIE. Asshole.


We were infront of each other now. He had one eye closed and had a scraggy kind of look. I asked "Hey are you alright?". He looked at me. I saw his hand come out of his pocket. DON'T STAB ME. There was nothing there. "Yeah I'm fine it's okay, i appreciate you asking. Thank you" he replied.

We talked for a bit and he told me he had gotten mugged. They took all his money and he was just on his way home. I told him to take care before i left. But something made me stop. I thought about it... He had no money at all. I debated to myself if i should run back. I didn't know what to do. I thought about the times i didn't do something i wanted to do and how much i hated feeling the regret afterwards. So i ran back.

He was at the end of the street. I ran and shouted HEY. He turned around. I gave him ten dollars and said "take this incase, i know it's not much but it's better to have something". He looked at me. Shocked. "Thank you so much. I appreciate what you've done for me". I told him not to worry about it and he asked where about do i live. I told him Derrimut and he said he lived there too. He said if i ever needed anything, no matter how small it was, he'd help. If i saw him in the streets, i was not to hesitate to walk up to him and ask. He thanked me some more and i gave him a hug and told him to get home safely. Then we went our separate ways.

Regardless of what it is, i love helping people and making their day better. Whether it be small or big. Giving them money or not. Buying a homeless person lunch or clothes. Anything. I love seeing their smiling face afterwards.

I'm never going to forget that guy.

And what's funny is i was suppose to take the bus that day but i had missed it and was forced to walk. Whilst walking i saw the bus coming and a stop was near by, i hesitated but decided to keep walking. Guess it was fated for me to miss that bus.

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN'

Yesterday was Tori's party and it was pretty fun. Met new people, caught up with old faces, was good. We met up at cairnlea park and had a picnic kinda thing. The women cooked because we're cool and the guys just.. guy-ed along LOL. After cooking, eating, being weirdo's at the park, we walked to cindys house and just hung out.

A group of us were watching Tennis. Everyone was too lazy to change the channel or chuck a movie on but someone eventually did. I think it was me, i don't remember 8) when i sat back down, i had to go back to press the button because the remote disappeared. We were so lazy that a friend even suggested to chuck something at the play button LOL. Another group was in a soundproof room playing a drinking game. I joined in and it was pretty fun. Friend went REALLY red. Like a tomato. Then he puked and for some reason i was watching him.

Which leads to the following morning. I woke up and received texts so i looked through and read other texts that i sent.

I sent these two to my friends:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL oh and this on facebook:

Ahhhh, funneh funneh.

Patience is a virtue

So i stumbled across this photo and i started thinking.. It's so true. Just because something isn't happening for us right now doesn't mean that it will never happen. We tell ourselves so many times that it's impossible, it'll never happen, it will never change. But we don't know that. We don't know that for sure.

I'll admit, i reckon the saying Anything is possible is a lie. Only because i'm a smart ass. For example, if i jumped off my roof, i wouldn't fly. No matter how much i wanted to. But disregarding the fact of me being a smart ass, that saying is pretty true. Mind wise i guess. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.

And when you have given it your all, and nothing is happening. Don't give up. So what if it hasn't happened yet. No biggie. Just means you gotta wait. And maybe you can keep trying, but differently. Make it fun. And if you're impatient then.. HAHA sucks for you :D

Nah but seriously, if you're impatient, it's alright to try and be patient every now and then. Don't think about it and time will go pass quicker. Set your mind to it and you are capable of being as patient as a monk. Or me :) preferably a monk. But still. I'm pretty patient. *cough*

When I'm gone - Eminem

Heyo peepo, i stumbled across this on my friends blog so i thought it would be fun to do, so JOIN ME! :D

What to do:
#1: Put iTunes on shuffle
#2: For each question, press the next button for your answer
#3: NO MATTER HOW STUPID IT SOUNDS, WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
My mistake - Justin DelaCruz

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
What I need - Deepside

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
All for you - Deepside

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Forget - J-Rice

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Every piece of my heart - Atozzio

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Until the end - Breaking Benjamin (<333333)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Wedding dress - Tae Yang

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Apologise (remix)- Lil Wayne & Bun-B

WHAT IS 2+2?
Never - Jeremy Greene

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST MATE?
Mad - Neyo

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
You'll be okay - Varsity

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
One more chance - Lil crazed 

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Forfeiture - House VS Hurricane 

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Unbreakable - Westlife

DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
You were my everything - Chuckie Akenz

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Bittersweet memories - Bullet For My Valentine (<3333)

WHAT WAS YOUR INTEREST AND HOBBIES?
Tonight Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae 

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I'm yours - Jason Mraz

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
When I'm gone - Eminem

That was mine :D
HAVE FUN WITH THIS! enjoy :)

Think it up

Have you ever looked back at a previous fight or argument or like, a major event that happened and just thought about the stuff you should have said but didn't. You just think, 'shit, why didn't i say that?'. The outcome might of been different or maybe it would've went longer or maybe it wouldn't have gone for so long. And suddenly you're just there thinking about it. And thinking about it. Thinking how it could of went differently. How it would of been better.

And sometimes you just start thinking up scenarios. But you think too deep about it that you get paranoid and scared that one day it might happen. You feel all emotional about it. It feels real in a way. It's scary. I really don't know if this makes sense, but it always happens to me. I think to deep about a scenario that i get this weird feeling in my chest. It feels like my heart stopped and it gets hard to breathe. Crazy right? Sometimes though, i kinda wish that the scenarios i think up actually happen. I'll admit, some are bad. No, not dirty bad, ew.

It's weird how you feel really emotional whilst thinking about it. It's as if the scenario actually happened and you were just re-living that moment. It kinda sucks to think about it, cause then you over think. And over thinking sucks to the core. You get all worked up about what you're thinking of and it might not even be as big as you think it is. It could be tiny. Something that you don't even need to think about. But oh well.

I think too much. A bit too much.

Kiddo

I really miss being a kid.

Everything was so freaking simple. You have no care in the world. No one to impress cause boys/girls were only seen as friends. Pinky promises were kept. The only bullying you'd get was fat or ugly or weird or nerd or blah and blah, sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G and yada yada. We all believed in the lies Disney fed us. Holding a guys hand was normal. You'd constantly hear the line '*insert stupid scenario* or i won't be your friend'. The best things to do at lunch were gang tiggy, dam ball (or down ball, or hand ball, whatever the deuce it was called at your primary) and shark (octopus, inside outside, whatever, the game on the playground). Your friends were friends. No fakes. No lies. No worries.

It seems cliche to talk about, but it's true. I remember talking to my friends about what high school they were going to. We would talk about it and how excited we were. We were going to move to the same high school to be with each other cause Best Friends For Life meant something.

High school sucks ass hair. Like honestly, i really dislike it. So much drama. And gossip. And punch ons. And blah blah. You get so hyped up to get there. A fresh start. But you either get bullied, you make a fake friend, you get back stabbed, you meet a boy. And then you change. You change how you look because you have to be the prettiest girl out or the coolest boy. You change how you act, either to fit in, or fit in with a certain group or just to be known in school. It's stupid really. I'll admit though, i've changed. For better? Not to sure.

The only thing i love about high school are the friends you make. The good ones. You meet alot of great people in high school. Hilarious ones. You become really close to some, they become family. And also, the memories you make in high school. You will never forget them. Some so bad that you will hurt forever but some will be the best memories by far.

You will lose friends though. And it sucks. 

CURLY WURLY

  

This is my hair natural :) its curly-wavy, but now it looks stupid wavy cause its short :( i really miss my long hair T^T

oh and...

TRUNG VO :)

Firsts

Your first kiss. Your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Your first friend. Your first 'broken heart'. Your first teddy bear. Your first crush. Your first everything.

Do you remember the feeling you got when you had your first crush? You feel weird inside. I remember my first crush was in grade two. He was my friend and we would always play tiggy together. I remember whenever this song came up on the lunch bell, Hey Baby - DJ Otzi, my crush would sing it with his friend and they would always point at me and my biffle. We'd giggle like idiots. His name was David Nguyen. He found me on facebook and he hasn't changed at all.

I really don't remember my first friend or first boyfriend. I do remember my first broken heart. Or.. when I first cried over a guy. It was in primary. Yes, in primary. He was a kid who was new to my school. Wasn't in the same class as him but we played gang tiggy together every recess, lunchtime and in the mornings before school. We became a couple. No idea how long we went out for but he dumped me one friday. The second last week of term two. Our friend came up to me at the start of the day and said '*name* said he just wants to be friends'. My response was 'yeah sure all good' *smiles*. Stupid. The next week came and he didn't come to school. I asked a friend if he knew where he was and he told me he went to Queensland. Which is why he dumped me. So i'm thinking, oh.. i'll be sure to tell him how much i like him when he gets back. Cause honestly, i was embarrassed to tell my friends that i actually did have feelings for him. It was past the two week holiday and the first day of school. He wasn't there. So i waited. Three weeks went past and i knew he wasn't ever coming back. First time i cried over a guy.

Anyway, isn't it weird when your past miraculously comes into your future after disappearing for a while? It feels like a chance to become good friends again or to relive a moment from the past. But sometimes, they just turn up and nothing happens. They're just there. Like the memories in the past. They're just there. So... maybe the past comes up in the future to remind you about the times you had, but to also remind you that they were in the past? I don't know..

First's are suppose to be good right? Like.. when you think of firsts, you'd expect it to be perfect or what not. But sometimes they suck. Like, you were too careless and didn't make a good memory of it. Though, I reckon firsts don't need to be perfect and all that. If it was bad, just use it as experience. Make it better for the future you :)

Doesn't matter if your first of something wasn't as good as you hoped it would be. Yes it may suck, but atleast you got a different kind of story to tell, instead of a corny cliche one like everyone elses.

ANYWAY i think i just rambled on. Here is a photo of my very first edit :D

(Yes.. i was directing it to my primary boyfriend)

Thinking beyond everything

Hey so guys and guy-ets, I've been doing a lot of thinking, maybe too much, and well, basically... I can't really make sense of it properly. It only works when your actually experiencing that actual feeling and trying to think like how I am. This may not be in order of how things happen or whatever but here goes.
You know how we're living now right. Like, have you ever thought of what comes afterwards? What's there? But then, it's not that simple. I started to think about my soul, my core, you could say. Like, I have this feeling that if I die, it's not the end of it. I'll just start living as something else, and like my entity will be transferred but I'll be never be able to actually know. Like, what if I was part of the second World War? Or if I was Hitler? But like yea. What happens? And see, you probably don't even understand me or what I'm even trying to say. It's complicated... And like, will we just stop living? Or will we continue as something else? Do you understand?? Probably not. But you know, there's a comment box if you want.
But, have you ever thought about what's beyond death? So like, the thing really bugging me is that I can’t seem to get the grasp of what exactly will happen when I die? It's this weird sensation between nervous and how you waiting for it to come as well. But like yea, whatever.


That segment there^ is a post my, well ierno.. friend?, we'll call him a friend, anyway a post my friend posted. And i thought i'd repost it cause it's what i've been meaning to post for a while now but i just couldn't quite put it into words. Then i came across this marvelous person who thinks like me.


I always think about this. Like, what happens after? Is that it? Do we just sleep for eternity? Or do i wake up with a new life. A new name. As someone new. With no complete memory of my past life. Maybe that's what has happened right now? Maybe i was someone else, maybe with the exact same thoughts. Have you ever thought about it? It's so mind boggling. And whenever i think of it, i get this weird feeling inside.. like.. like some sort of force is pressed against my chest, making it difficult for me to breathe.. then this weird tingling scared feeling comes. It's a strange feeling.


And like my friend had already said, you get this weird sensation between nervous and how you're waiting for it to come. You feel so curious. You want to know what happens. Where do you go? Are you living as someone else? Will you just wake up as if it were a dream? This is some inception right here lol.


Don't know if it makes sense but it's what goes through my mind. Thinking beyond everything. Beyond death. Beyond anything possible. Beyond anything human. Is it even right to be thinking about these kinds of things? The thought of it all just becomes overwhelming.


Anyway, check out his blog: http://letskeepitsimplez.blogspot.com

When you want to cry, but you can't

Because when people see you cry, they will non-stop ask why til they hear a reason. Not all, but most. I hate it. You want to just break down and let everything out but you force yourself not to. And it sucks if your at school in a classroom and you're on the verge of crying cause you're stuck in that confined room and if you cry, it will draw so much attention to you that you just want to run away.

Another place is home. You cannot ever let them see you cry. Well, that's how i feel in my house. I never let them see me cry. They will ask so many times why and they won't drop it. And it will go around to all my aunties and uncles and cousins. Then next time we all hang out they start talking about me and then they ask why and *sigh*.

I really dislike it at home, and, i know this is mean but, i really dislike my family. Like.. no one can keep a secret. You always hear 'yeah don't worry'. Then "somehow" every single family member knows about it.

Joy.

This is my second baby.

Yes, this lovely keyboard is my second baby. I have been playing it daily and i must say i'm addicted. But no, my first baby will always be first. And my first baby is my ps2 :) <3

My mind is unsafe

One of my new years resolutions this year was to go through the whole year without cutting.

You have no idea how freaking hard it is. Cause constantly, you get this voice in the back of your head. It feeds your mind with hurtful words. Lies? You'd like to believe they are. But no matter how much you tell yourself they are lies, you just always seem to believe the voice in your head. That voice that speaks so loud. So loud you can't even think properly. And you feel like the only way out is death.

It's hard, you know? But with every cut, comes the scar, then comes the reminder that I lived because I'm better than this and I can be better. I was meant to survive that cut. And I'm meant to survive til the very end.

Though, no matter what, the voice will keep talking. And talking and talking and talking. Bringing me down. Making me feel useless. But I'm actually going to try and ignore it. No matter how low I will get this year, I will not fall.

Because I'm better then this.

Eugh, make up

So like, for christmas my cousin wanted to put make up on me. Results^

I was on the phone to my bestie LOL so ignore the silvery grey phone in the first photo :)

My net is back. Oh yeah *puts glasses*

It's a new year. I'm suppose to be happy aren't i? But like, i'm not. I really looked forward to this year but i'm scared that i jinxed it. I cried at 2am on new years eve.. what if it gets as crappy as it was last year? Mega sigh to the max. Or maybe i'm just over thinking about it.. right? ANYWAY!

Since it's a new year i'm trying out this new thing i thought of :) i'm gunna cover my wall with things i want, things i want to do, new years resolutions, quotes and goals or whatever, written on sticky notes :) here's what it looks like so far:

I'm gunna keep it for like, motivation. And slowly slowly after i've completed one i'm gunna take it off my wall and try and make my wall clean by the end of this year :D hope it takes my mind of things and helps me have a better year.

So like yeah.

Twenty twelve ya'll

This year has finally ended. 2011, you were the worst year i've ever had to live through. So much shit happened. I am so freaking happy you're over. BOOYAH.

Be good to me twenty twelve! Though I can tell it'll be a good year. I have many things to look forward to. Scary, life-changing, whatever, I'm looking forward to what the new year will bring. I also had a good start to the year :)

I got to hang out with my bestie at my house. He took the bus and i was suppose to wait at the bus stop.... Heh... He ended up near the female prison 8) ANYWAY, moving on.

I'm excited how it's the new year but at the same time i feel normal cause it's just another year.. Get? Like, i feel like it's another year of bs.. But then again, it's a new year. Anything could happen and plus.. There's something i need to find out so i guess thats the main reason im looking forward to this year..

But anyweighhh, HAPPY NEW YEAR :)