Have you ever looked back at a previous fight or argument or like, a major event that happened and just thought about the stuff you should have said but didn't. You just think, 'shit, why didn't i say that?'. The outcome might of been different or maybe it would've went longer or maybe it wouldn't have gone for so long. And suddenly you're just there thinking about it. And thinking about it. Thinking how it could of went differently. How it would of been better.
And sometimes you just start thinking up scenarios. But you think too deep about it that you get paranoid and scared that one day it might happen. You feel all emotional about it. It feels real in a way. It's scary. I really don't know if this makes sense, but it always happens to me. I think to deep about a scenario that i get this weird feeling in my chest. It feels like my heart stopped and it gets hard to breathe. Crazy right? Sometimes though, i kinda wish that the scenarios i think up actually happen. I'll admit, some are bad. No, not dirty bad, ew.
It's weird how you feel really emotional whilst thinking about it. It's as if the scenario actually happened and you were just re-living that moment. It kinda sucks to think about it, cause then you over think. And over thinking sucks to the core. You get all worked up about what you're thinking of and it might not even be as big as you think it is. It could be tiny. Something that you don't even need to think about. But oh well.
I think too much. A bit too much.
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