Do I get what I want? Do I want what I get?

Thinking. And thinking. And searching. Searching for what? Answers maybe? I don't know.

I want to know what will happen if I choose certain options. Do I end up happy? Will it make things worse? Will I get hurt again? Will it hurt other people? Just bleh. It's frustrating. And it gets me so deep. And sometimes I do things for other people and not me. Well.. mostly always actually. I find it hard to do things for me. It's difficult to see other people unhappy because of my decisions, you know?

Another thing about me is that I can't deliver bad news to someone. It's hard? Which is why I could never be a doctor. And I could never stop blaming myself if I couldn't save them. But anyway, getting off topic.

I want to be with a certain person. But I'm scared to. I want to run away. But I'd be making it worse. I want to leave this place. But then I'd just be selfish. I want to do heaps of things but I stop myself and think about what would happen after. I think too much... I tend to overthink aswell, which isn't really a good thing.. And I know that half of the stuff I want to do will just worry people. And the last thing I wanna be is a burden.

Heaps of my friends tell me to do things for myself once in a while. Things that I want. But I always wonder.. if I get what I want, would I still want it then?