When you try your best but you don't succeed.

It sucks. You give it your all and still, you're just rewarded by trying your hardest all over again.

And I guess at times it doesn't bother you. First couple of fails, you can try again. But then when it's just a never ending cycle.. You're just sick of it and you give up, you know? Then you just get use to the feeling of disappointment and you learn to live with it.

I really hate it. And I especially hate the thoughts that come with it. Why? Why do I keep failing? Am I the problem? What is this.. legitimate reason that's making me fail everytime? 

Every single time. Over and over again. I often wonder... what's the use of trying anymore? If all you're gunna get is disappointment? But then again, maybe you're trying for something you'll regret. Or you're trying too hard for the wrong thing, thus disappointment. Maybe when you finally succeed, you'll be left with something you want. But not what you need.

Ponder. Ponder.

Is this what I really want?